Don't Panic !!!!!!

Ok Panic, just don't make a mess.

This guide covers most common problems and can give you a well needed guide to the galaxy in general.

Its divided into basic descriptions of common problems and possible cures.

Dominion Cocktail : WARNING : While under the influence of a Dominion Cocktail you will be unable to carry out normal daily routines.

Common Side Effects : Alliance members quit and run, People in your cities flee in panic, wells dry up, livestock dies off, hair falls out. Usually denoted by a daemon infestation, drought, plague, and general mayhem.

Possible Cures : None known, most effected players quit.

Recommended Action : Find the nearest Dominion member and surrender. This may not actually fix the problem but does help keep it from reoccurring.

Dominion Nuke Silo Test Site : WARNING : When your kingdom has been designated a dominion nuclear silo test site, kiss your land and buildings goodbye. Don't Panic cause it isn't over. Usually followed up by a Dominion Cocktail. This happens when you have come in contact with Quickz and rubbed him the wrong way.

Common Side Effects : Land usually drops to under 200 acres, buildings crumble, and population starts to glow and lose hair. You will notice that you are welcomed with open arms to the newbie neighborhood for permanent residence.

Possible Cures : NONE

Recommended Action : Find Quickz and beg forgiveness. This will not get your land and buildings back. But it might stop a recurrence and allow you to move to a nicer neighborhood.

Dominion Warmachine Test Drive : WARNING : While under the influences of a Dominion Warmachine Test Drive you will not be able to carry out normal daily routines. Don't Panic, wont do any good.

Common Side Effects : 49.0052% of your land will vanish. The Bodies of your dead troops will have warmachine tracks across their broken and mangled bodies. Usually denoted by holes in walls, buildings, people and a general state of mayhem and destruction. Sometime there will be left behind labels saying MK 5 Dwarven WMS (c) 2000 Grumpy Industries.

Recommended Action : RUN!!!!!!!!

Dominion Research Drain : WARNING : While under the influence of a Dominion Research Drain you will notice mass amounts of your research disappearing. Don't panic, its being put to good use. This condition usually occurs when Drow is close to the same score as yourself.

Common Side Effects : Income drops rapidly, general populace walks around in a daze muttering "Shop smart Shop S Mart". Troops swords seem bent also troops walk into walls allot and generally don't fight as good.

Possible Cures : Getting distance between your kingdom and Drow.

Recommended Action : See Possible Cures.

Dominion Milk Shake : WARNING : While under the influence of a Dominion Milk Shake you will notice LARGE amounts of your land disappearing. Don't panic, not like you can do anything about it anyway. This condition usually occurs when you have come into contact with STR.

Common Side Effects : Major loss in land, score, appetite, and bad breath. Known topping include - hair of the rat that bit ya, big red glowing sprinkles, and  the infamous and very rare flaming milkshake.

Possible Cures : Find or take more land. DUH!!!

Recommended Action : Find STR and kiss butt.

Dominion Mind Attack : WARNING : While under the influences of a Dominion Mind attack you will notice the incredible urge to kill or maim any purple dino dolls you can find. Go Ahead PANIC!! The condition usually occurs when you have come in contact with Barney.

Common Side Effects : Hearing "I Love you, You Love me, Were a HaPpY FaMiLy" playing over and over in your head. Also your mail will be spammed with "I Love you, You Love me, Were a HaPpY FaMiLy..... Feel the Looooooooove". This is usually followed by mass attacks. Also you may notice women killed and livestock raped.

Possible Cures : None known. Most players are commit to the local mental hospitals or quit the game.

Recommended Action : Invest in Valium

Condition by Symptom

Can't build warmachines : See Dominion Cocktail.

Can't Hire troops : See Dominion Cocktail.